the sky above the port was tuned to a porn channel
does it bother anybody else that the core message of Doctor Who seems to be "run away from your problems"?
Xbox, you don't have to put on the red light
doubleplusgod
I like my women how I like mathematics: capable of cogent self-expression without resorting to simile
$20 ladies, and the shirt stays ON!
~ Loserz
</mr nice guy>
~ StickManStickMan
<O>
~ Milo Rambaldi, in Alias
"All Your Base Are Belong To Us" Found Woven Into The Very Fabric Of The Universe
~ StickManStickMan
"I can find no fault with this game. 96%"
~ unknown gaming magazine
"Nearly impossible" = "possible"
"Oh bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."
~ Everything2
"You UNDID your parachute?!" "Had to. It was on fire."
~ Brothers In Arms comic
( o ) bagel
~ bagel2ooo, on Slashdot
(Away)
@_"
~ unknown
{{},{{}},{{},{{}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}}}}}
~ this is the number 5 in set notation
1,000,000 lemmings can't be wrong
~ unknown
1996 called; they want their browser back
~ unknown
A bad analogy is like a leaky screwdriver
~ Richard Braakman
A general rule of cooking is that you can hide items of any kind in food
~ Pokey The Penguin
A man's gotta do that which a tautology demands of him
~ unknown
A sentence ending in a preposition is something up with which I will not put
~ attributed to Winston Churchill
Above all else, be loving and be cool
~ Everything2
Ahhh! Chainsaw! The great communicator!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin
~ P. G. Wodehouse
All civilization was an effort to impress the opposite sex
~ Futurama
All error is human
All I want in a woman is perfection on every level. I have NO idea why this should be such an unreasonable demand.
~ Scriblerus, on Everything2
all talk and no conversation
All the world's a game, and all the men and women are but players.
~ StickManStickMan
All Through With This Niceness And Negotiation Stuff
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
All your base are belong to us
~ Cats, in Zero Wing
Also CUTE and FLUFFY!
~ Stitch, in Lilo & Stitch
Always sit at least 100 yards from sun.
~ Sun Safety Tips, in the Onion
Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
~ Everything2
And breasts that seemed to say... "Hey! Look at these!"
~ Frank Drebin, in The Naked Gun 2 1/2
and you just have to sit there and imagine WHY on EARTH you can't Get Ye Flask
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
~ unknown
Anybody else think it's ironic that "minimalism" is such a long word?
~ StickManStickMan
Area Juggler Juggles Family, Juggling
~ The Onion
Aren't there bears "outside"?
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Aries: Your one-inch punch may be powerful, but it will prove to be no match for your adversary's 750-foot punch.
~ Horoscope in the Onion
Attention-seeking missile
attractive, single, mentally stable; choose two
~ unknown
Autopsy-turvy (Hit me baby one morgue time)
~ TimeSplitters 2
Babs, there's something I haven't told you. I go bellringing on Wednesday nights.
~ Acorn Antiques by Victoria Wood
bad poetry / oh noetry!
~ toothpaste for dinner
Bass cadet
~ song by Autechre
Battle Royale with cheese
~ Everything2
Battle-Finch
~ Progress Quest
Be excellent to each other!
~ Abraham Lincoln, in Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure
Be the mail!
~ mailman in Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Before this moment, did I ever see the world?
~ Penny Arcade
Being happy with what we have is the new chasing after trends
~ 1, in Death To The Extremist
Blood on the cheese
~ Bill Bailey
Botanists Making Great Strides In Stem Research
~ The Onion
Brackets contain world's first nanosig, highly magnified: [.]
~ Slashdot
breath as fresh as a summer ham
~ Henry Kissinger, on Futurama
Bruce Willis is "Minesweeper"
~ Utopia Project
Bush is stupid. Americans identified with Bush.
~ Andrew Hookway
Bush/Orwell in 2004
~ Slashdot
C is for cookie, and that suffices
Can you imagine a world without hypothetical questions?
~ Everything2
Careful with that axe, Eugene
~ song by Pink Floyd
Cast, Crew Of Troy Begin Disastrous 10-Year Journey Back To Hollywood
~ The Onion
Celebrate Bastille Day! Eat some Fruit Bastilles
Chew electric death, snarling cur!
~ Spaceman Spiff, in Calvin and Hobbes
Chew uraneous death, evildoers!
Chewbacca can't pronounce his own name
~ humbabba, on Everything2
chocolate war is hell... tasty, tasty hell
Clue: if you don't have something to say, shut up.
~ HTML Hell, by Eric S. Raymond
Come in, Boris, we always have a guest for breakfast. Muwahahahaha
~ "Monster Mash", song by the Bonzo Dog Band
Contrary to popular belief, not all mathematicians are handsome hunks
Crazy flipper fingers
~ "Pinball Wizard", song by the Who
Critics slate Bible for "deus ex machina" beginning
~ Untitled Document
Current mood: geocidal
Death to the extremist!
~ Death To The Extremist
Delete all files? Hit any key to continue.
~ Slashdot
Diamonds... because money equals love
~ sign in The Simpsons
Do not eat your controller. I can't stress this one enough.
~ Game Rage, by Derek Clark
Do Not Fire From Target Continuum
~ unknown
Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Good Eye
~ Everything2
Do not put marbles up your nose
~ Brendon Small, in Home Movies
Dodge this
~ Trinity, in The Matrix
Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
~ "Vera Lynn", song by Pink Floyd
Dog for sale, eats anything, especially fond of children
~ unknown
doing for mathematicians what Daredevil did for blind people
Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
~ Everything2
Don't blow up the universe! That's where I keep all my stuff!
~ The Tick, in The Tick
Don't get mad. Get even.
~ Simon Everson
Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.
Don't move. Don't even breathe threateningly.
~ Strata by Terry Pratchett
Don't shoot food
~ Gauntlet
Don't thank me, President X%#tlqr! Thank COVALENT BONDING
~ Thanatos, in Bigger Than Cheeses
Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal
~ Zaphod Beeblebrox, in The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe
doo wakka doo wakka doo
~ "Ballad Of The Sneak", on Homestarrunner
drinking bootleg hooch and listening to the jazz
~ "Ballad Of The Sneak", on Homestarrunner
Drunken British Students Conquer Iceland
~ Michael "Evil Capitalist" Dnes, on The Frontier
Eat hot prog knife, Angel!
~ Shinji Ikari, on Toastyfrog
Election 2004: Whoever wins... we lose
Elliot Goa'uld?
~ Otsune, on Everything2
Elvish Impersonator
~ Everything2
Epur Si muove
~ Galileo ("And it moves")
ETAONRISHDLFCMUGYPWBVKXJQZ
~ letters of the alphabet, in order of usage frequency in English
Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
~ "Sharp Dressed Man", song by ZZ Top
Everyone is entitled to my opinion
~ unknown
Everyone I've told about the file is dead!
~ Brian Griffin, in Family Guy
Exams aside, this should be a pretty easy term
~ me during my final term at university
exercising my right to arm bears
Exploring: Meatloaf
~ seen in a Windows Explorer window
faster than a speeding ballet
faster than a speeding mullet
Feet are for running. Hearts are for racing
~ Everything2
Find out exactly what to think - next!
Finish your beer, there's sober kids in Africa!
~ unknown
Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish
~ Turtle, on Edge Forums
Fo Fee Fi Fo Fum! Is my name!
~ Jack, in Samurai Jack
Follow the white rarebit
For his birthday, I am going to get Koki... drunk
For sale: stupid dwarf
Four fried chickens and a coke.
~ Jake Blues, in The Blues Brothers
four out of five doctors agree: SHUT UP
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Francis, my throat is sore. Please laugh maniacally in my stead.
~ Brent, in PvP
Franko! Go down to the cargo hold and bring me everything that has the ability to explode!
~ Joe The Circle, in Joe The Circle
Free Tibet! (one per customer)
~ unknown
French Loaf II: The Breadening
from the company that brought you "Rabbit Algebra"
~ Homestarrunner
Gandalf! I thought you were dead! "No."
~ unknown
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs
~ "Prehistoric Discoveries", infographic in the Onion
Geese can be troublesome
~ fortune cookie, on the Simpsons
Generally bears taste great. Any bear will tell you this.
~ Everything2
George Clooney grows goatee; world grinds to halt
~ Everything2
Get laid and jump out of an airplane... AT THE SAME TIME
~ the ambition of "Wackypants" on PD Central
Get me an F-16 and a big, pointy stick!
~ StickManStickMan
Getting shot in the face is the new black
~ The Onion
Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds
~ Homer Simpson
gone with the wind in 60 seconds
Goodyear Unveils New, Circular Tires
~ The Onion
Goosnargh
~ The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Got toast?
~ Terry Ip
Great! I Love BitTorrent. Because I hate going to the theater to see... uh, Linux binaries.
~ Murdock037, on Slashdot
grooving with a Pict
~ "Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict", song by Pink Floyd
Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill in to have her taken away!
~ Futurama
Gyaargh! The rumours of the Daystar are true!
~ Everything2
Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.
~ Wash, being a dinosaur in Firefly
Hand me the gun and ask me again
~ Culture ship name from Look To Windward by Iain M. Banks
Happy? Better Reduce the Dosage
~ Everything2
Hasta la vista, guv'nor.
He hated Mexicans! And he was half-Mexican! ...And he hated irony!
~ Saturday Night Live
He is a driven, unflinching, calculating, machine
~ Finnish hacker in Swordfish
He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel
~ Saturday Night Live
Heck, I'd believe a Runway 0:27 claim before I believed there were two "secret" levels
~ Wes McKinney in Fake Elite Chat by Derek Clark
HELLO! I'M BRIAN BLESSED!
~ Brian Blessed, in Monkey Dust
Hello, everyone. I'm Bronkowski, the fifth Teletubbie.
~ Bronkowski, in Digitiser
Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet.
~ Groucho Marx
Hey, I've got an idea... and it doesn't involve high explosives!
~ Max, in Sam And Max
Hmm. He has been trained in the art of Zwee Fighting
~ Snowflake, in Buttlord GT
Homer Simpson: Neomorphisms
~ unknown
Houston, we have a problem... a SEXY problem!
~ Homer Simpson
How can we possibly USE sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!
~ Frasier Crane, in Frasier
How can you shoot the Devil in the back? What if you miss?
~ Verbal Kint, in The Usual Suspects
How come Batman doesn't dance anymore?
~ Adam West, in The Simpsons
How come the Matrix soundtrack doesn't have any songs by The Smiths?
How much do ya gotta BOMB people to get 'em to quit HATING you?
~ Bob The Angry Flower, in Bob The Angry Flower
I am INVINCIBLE!
~ Boris Grishenko, in GoldenEye
I am not a step
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
I am the garage flower
~ "Mission Impossible", song by the Stone Roses
I can't believe it's knot theory!
I can't fix your car. I'm an ocelot.
~ Monkey Dust
I decided to start ranking my lecturers according to how good a Doctor Who they'd make
I demand a million helicopters and a DOLLAR!
~ Slashdot
I did it all for the cookie
I do all my best work while conscious
~ Antihero For Hire
I don't get it.
~ ObviousGuy, on Slashdot (this was comment #10,000,000)
I don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
~ "Wasted Youth", song by Meatloaf
I don't think we're in Kansas anym- oh wait, yeah we are
I fitted a snail with a death ray earlier. I'm going to train it to hunt glaciers.
~ Charlie Bell
I had no shoes and I thought I was unlucky until someone beat me to death with a spade
~ from CaesiaBot's quote list
I have a tiny penis and $10 million. It's a fair trade
~ Panel Crack
I have no mouth, but I don't need to scream, so that's okay
I just shot a dolphin. I did it on porpoise
~ unknown
I know! I'll use the "May I help you?" riff
~ Wayne Campbell, in Wayne's World
I lay awake last night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me.
~ apdt, on Slashdot
I like a girl in a bikini. No concealed weapons
~ Francisco Scaramanga, in The Man With The Golden Gun
I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
~ Everything2
I like my coffee the way I like my women: Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey
~ achan, on Everything2
I liked it [in Kill Bill] when Uma Thurman cut that guy
~ Wackypants, on PD Central
I love babysitting. So much better than chairs
~ unknown
I love chess, it is like ballet with more explosions
~ Pokey The Penguin
I love everyone, especially myself
~ heard at an IMO training session
I meditate diligently every morning. The subject is love and peace. I quit after three seconds.
~ Vash the Stampede, in Trigun
I never thought this would come up, but I have a fairly strict "no skeleton" policy
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
I play violent videogames! I could snap any minute!
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
I think I speak for everybody when I say I can't wait for Episode IV
I wish I had a cat. And some BBQ sauce.
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
I would walk 500 miles, but no further
Ice to see you
~ Mr. Freeze, in Batman And Robin
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
~ Jack Handey, in Saturday Night Live
If anyone objects to this union - stamp the ground twice.
~ ToasterLeavings
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
~ W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, use a GameShark
If Britney Spears loves rock 'n' roll, why doesn't she record some?
If everybody really is out to get you, what you have is JUSTIFIED paranoia.
If I wanted realism, I'd go play outside.
~ JeremyDark, on PDC
If I weren't me, I'd wish I was.
~ Maddox, on The Best Page In The Universe
If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man
~ "Working For A Living", song by Huey Lewis And The News
If something happens, it must be possible.
~ Scott Cox's First Law Of Physics
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.
~ Steven Wright
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
~ "Loneliness", poster on Despair.com
If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it and yell "Tornado!"
~ "Tornado Safety", infographic in the Onion
If you spot a tornado, always remember to stay absolutely still. Its vision is based on movement.
~ Chris Cawthorn
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
~ Everything2
I'm afraid... that's... ANTI-POSSIBLE!
~ Rob McQueen
I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Mr. Baggins
~ Everything2
I'm gonna reach down... between my legs... and ease the seat back
~ "I'm The Bomb", song by Electric Six
I'm losing interest in Boston Legal; they need to do a Mirror Universe episode
I'm only acting retarded, what's your excuse?
~ Gord, on Acts Of Gord
I'm sick of being experimented on! You want a guinea pig? Get a rabbit!
~ Coach McGurk, in Home Movies
I'm waiting for Aladdin -.5: Robin Williams Just Talks to Himself in a Bottle
~ Jon "Ngamer" Barber
In a world populated with many fine women, you are without a doubt the most fine.
~ Smoove B., in the Onion
In general, most people are... Chinese
~ Slashdot
In Hell, banjos don't need people to play them.
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
In Los Angeles, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find YOU
~ unknown
In mathematics, everything is a special case of something else
In Mathematics, it is customary to name things after the first person after Euler to discover them
~ unknown
In my experience, any number of people can be wrong about anything
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way
~ unknown
In space, no one can hear you implode a multi-billion dollar killer satellite array.
~ Tetsuo, on Toastyfrog
In space, no one can hear you wear a hat.
~ Everything2
In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
~ Zap Brannigan, in Futurama
In the new version, Alderaan shoots first
~ Dirtside, on Slashdot
In this house, WE OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS
~ Homer Simpson
INCONCEIVABLE!
~ Vizzini, in The Princess Bride
Information is not knowledge; knowledge is not wisdom; and wisdom is not foresight.
~ unknown
Information wants to be anthropomorphized
~ Golias, on Slashdot
Integral of "a^m" w.r.t. "hughes"
Internet tip: additional question marks act as an urgency clarifier, and get your question answered faster!
Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!
~ Futurama
Is it my fault your planet orbits a BALL of FIRE?
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Is it so hard to teach a child not to shoot people?
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
ITALIANS
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
It's a llama, Dad! A South American beast of burden!
~ advert for The Sims
It's all fun and games until somebody blows up the Sun
It's all so complicated, with the flowers, and romance, and the lies upon lies!
~ Zoidberg, in Futurama
It's always cool to hate things which are massively popular
It's hard to take a villain seriously when he has "Moff" in his title
~ J. Loren Soderburgh, on The Brunching Shuttlecocks
It's ISSSSSSSSSSSTHMUUUUUUUSSS!
It's just like making love; left, down, rotate sixty-two degrees, engage rotor...
~ Bender, in Futurama
I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!
~ Flashheart, in Blackadder II
Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambe
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Dress To Kill
July is sometimes very hot / but when it isn't, it is not
~ A Year At Saint Yorick's by Adrian Plass
Just add the credible submissions one by one. How hard could it be?
~ Wes McKinney in Fake Elite Chat by Derek Clark
Just because I can recite all fifty states in a quarter of a second
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
Just remember, you can't spell "suburbs" without "BUS RUBS"
~ toothpaste for dinner
Kevin Bacon linked to Al-Quaeda
~ The Onion
Knee-deep in the Xoxx
~ song by Machinae Supremacy
Ladies, form a line to my left for makeouts! Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives!
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Lady, I don't think I could take sixty-seven more of those!
~ Frank Drebin, in Police Squad!
Lapsed Pacifist
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
Law Enforcement Officials Call For Creation Of Bulletproof Sleeves
~ The Onion
Leave a good looking corpse. And leave it somewhere public.
~ dem bones, on Everything2
Let me check my notes...
~ Riff, in Sluggy Freelance
Let There Be More Light
~ song by Pink Floyd
Let there be ROCK
~ album by AC/DC
Liberty X? That's not a band, that's a porn channel.
Life is a lemon and I want my money back
~ song by Meatloaf
listening to Iron Median, the new sound of statistics
Live fast enough, and in an external observer's reference frame you need never die
Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.
~ James Dean, in Rebel Without A Cause
LIVE HOT NUKES
~ StickManStickMan
LIVR (Learned, Impartial and Very Relaxed)
~ Zipo Bibrok 5x10^8's title from Life, The Universe, And Everything by Douglas Adams
Lock and load, Holmes!
~ Gareth Hughes
Love is a snowmobile racing over the tundra that suddenly flips and pins you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
~ Life In Hell, by Matt Groening
Lunchtime Achievement Award
~ Horoscope in the Onion
Mah spoon is too big
~ Rejected
maS
Mathematicians do it smoothly and continuously
~ unknown
May 3, 325 B.C. - Rome Built
~ America (The Book) by the writers of The Daily Show
Merry Isthmus
Metroids are jerks.
~ Meganium7, on GameFAQs
Microwave-Resistant Potato Alarms Scientists
~ The Onion
Mmmmorrre coookiesss.......
~ sleeve note from "Hail To The Thief", album by Radiohead
Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff
~ Deep Thought, in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, William Shatner
~ Everything2
Murder Ahoy!
~ Saltmine Theatre Company
Music, movies and microcode
~ Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
My cause is just... my will is strong... and my gun is very, very large!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
~ unknown
My two favourite things are commitment, and changing myself
~ robot dummy, in Futurama
My vast intellect does provide SOME comfort
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Nameless Generic Fireball Attack!
~ Glutes, in Buttlord GT
Never generalize
~ unknown
Never judge a book by its ISBN number
~ Andrew Pearson
never reason with a fool
~ "Fake Sound Of Progress", song by Lostprophets
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
~ GameFAQs
Next time you cross the road, don't bother looking.
~ Chris Morris, in The Day Today
Nine pies is a lot of pies.
~ Pie Queen, on Everything2
ninety-nine out of a possible ten
No car chases in books, are there?
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Unrepeatable
No matter how hard I try, I can never fit 12 cats into one mailbox.
~ Brian Berry
No Woman, No Chrysler Building
~ Six Things
No, that IS a banana in my pocket. Thanks for asking
~ StickManStickMan
No, we're outa bear claws!
~ "Albuquerque", song by "Weird" Al Yankovic
Nobody's human
~ Watchmen
Not everybody can avoid the traffic jams
Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Now playing The Clash - "Lock the Taskbar"
Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt!
~ unknown
Obscure Super-Heroes #145 - The Human Cheque
Oh no! Mass!
~ Father Ted
Okay, smartass, if this is football, where's all the ice?
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
Okay, you don't go home empty-handed, 'cause we're gonna cut your hands off!
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Definite Article
On a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies
~ Rainier Wolfcastle, in The Simpsons
Once upon a time there was a little girl with an adorable red cape and GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS
~ Aku, in Samurai Jack
One day this chalk outline will encircle this city
~ "Televators", song by the Mars Volta
Onion ring to rule them all, Onion ring to fry them
~ Everything2
Open the iPod and play The Doors, HAL
~ Anonymous Coward, on Slashdot
pacifisticuffs
~ Scriblerus, on Everything2
PAIN CAKE
~ Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, in a Reebok ad
Peace at any cost - The Kill Everyone Project
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election
~ Otto von Bismarck
People say alcohol's a drug. It's not a drug. It's a drink
~ Brass Eye
People with annoyingly long screen names
Perl: the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
~ unknown
perplexing geometric attacks
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Piper at the gates of dawn
~ song by Pink Floyd
poetry is pompous / any fool can do it / pineapple apocalypse
~ allseeingeye, on Everything2
Police Search Of Backpack Yields Explosive Bestseller
~ The Onion
Police Seize 250 Pounds of Mariuana Smoker
~ The Onion
Pope-Killing Virus Claims Yet Another Victim
~ The Onion
Price check on KICKED ASS!
~ Snowflake, in Buttlord GT
Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters...
~ Vizzini, in The Princess Bride
Probe yum yum... tastes like chicken. Send more probe
~ Everything2
Putting the "elation" into "tessellation"
Putting the "putting the" into "Putting the 'putting the' into 'putting the...'"
Putting the element of fun into Elements of Functional Analysis
~ Andrew Pearson
Quack
Quoth the server, "404"
~ link, on bash.org
Raging Against His Machine
Rated "S" for "Something"
Read between the lies
Real skill comes without effort
~ Li Mu Bai, in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Remember, don't play around electric wires or you could be playing with fire.
~ Roadblock, in a GI Joe Public Service Announcement
Remember: The old adage "Fight fire with fire" does not apply to non-metaphorical fires.
~ The Onion
Resistance is advisable. You might not be assimilated
~ StickManStickMan
Resistance is character-forming
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
Rest well, and dream of large women.
~ The Man in Black, in The Princess Bride
restaurant has stupid "no tigers" rule
~ The Onion
Right on, Commander!!
~ Frontier: Elite II
Rock-Eating Love Monkey
~ Food-Eating Battle Monkeys on The Surrealist
Rotating Knife Vortex Closed Pending Safety Investigation
~ The Onion
ROU Slashdot Effect
~ Culture Ship Name, suggested on Slashdot
Routine Training Exercise Goes As Planned
Samta Claus
Scientist Solves Chess, Claims Player Two Can Force Win
Search your feelings, with GOOGLE!
~ Refried
Secret Service Not Sure If That Suit Of Armor Was In Oval Office Yesterday
~ The Onion
See that star? First one to get there wins.
~ Taiwanimation
See the people standing there who disagree and never win
~ "Fixing A Hole", song by the Beatles
SEQUINED SPACEMAN
~ SEQUINED SPACEMAN, on Everything2
Set phasers on "Medium Rare"
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
~ song by Pink Floyd
Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!
~ edremy, on Slashdot
Sexy Boy must return to Earth!
~ video to "Sexy Boy", song by Air
Sir! It's a Beige Alert!
~ neutral person, in Futurama
Sith happens
~ Phil Plait
Sixteen days? That's almost two weeks!
~ Red vs Blue
SLASHDOTTERS do it with MODERATION
~ TexVex, on Slashdot
slime does not pay
~ The Tick, in The Tick
small things amuse large minds
~ gluth, on Everything2
SNOW'D
So this Irishman walks past a pub
~ unknown
Solar power? No thanks, COMRADE. I'm AMERICAN.
~ Bigger Than Cheeses
Some infinities are bigger than others
Some things are just morally reprehensible, like using science to save people's lives.
~ The Onion
Someone's been messing with my anti-paranoia medication!
~ Everything2
Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb!
~ Batman, in Batman
space hamster
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Specialization is for insects.
~ Lazarus Long
Sports. The opposite of reading.
~ unknown
Star Wars 3, Fans 0
~ Fark
Star Wars Episode 3. PROFIT!!!
~ Anonymous Coward, on Slashdot
Star Wars III: So long and thanks for all the Sith
~ Fark
starring Al Pacino as "L-block"
~ Mr. Biffo, in Digitiser
Stop Plate Tectonics!
~ Everything2
Such a rush
~ song by Coldplay
sugar-free poison strikes me as one of the most pointless things ever
Surely if there was only one, he would no longer be a Bee, just a Gee.
surfing with the alien
~ song by Joe Satriani
Table football is so unrealistic
take the long road and close three of its lanes
Take the long road and lengthen it
taste the war
Tell the people you are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists as unpatriotic
~ Herman Goering
thank you for not moshing
~ song by Reel Big Fish
That was the best forty-minute washboard solo I ever heard!
~ Beck, in Futurama
THAT... was a GOAL
~ Alan Partridge, in The Day Today
That's game, Hendrix!
~ Ben Franklin, in The Simpsons
THAT'S NOT A SQUARE! AAAAAAAGGGGH
The '90s are to the '80s what the '70s were to the '60s
~ Monkey Dust
The blue pill was red too! It was a trick of the light
~ StickManStickMan
The duck raises an excellent point.
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
The duck stood quietly, holding a ball-peen hammer
~ Everything2
The following takes place between 3 PM and 4:20 PM. Over there. In that booth.
~ The Self-Made Critic, reviewing "Phone Booth"
The future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet.
~ William Gibson
The goggles, they do nothing
~ Rainier Wolfcastle, in The Simpsons
The Great Flapsbury
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
~ "Humiliation", poster on Despair.com
The hundred-foot bamboo should continue growing
~ Chinese proverb
The information superhighway ISN'T REALLY A HIGHWAY AT ALL!!!
The Matrix has you, Charlie Brown!
~ poster in The Simpsons
The meaning of life is "things which are alive"
~ StickManStickMan
THE MEEK: THEY WANT IT ALL
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Circle
The President has been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
~ Bad Dudes
the principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself"
~ A Fish Called Wanda
The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding, in this case, is a football
~ Alan Partridge, in The Day Today
The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people
~ Robert Hamburger, on The Ultimate Ninja Website
The reason they say nobody lives forever is that nobody ever HAS. YET.
The solution to asylum seekers is better signs to the asylum
~ allseeingeye, on Everything2
The Supreme Court is just the Regular Court with bacon and lettuce
~ Everything2
The trick is... NOT to suck.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
The word "laptop" comes from a Latin expression meaning "don't drop this"
~ 3 Dead Trolls In A Baggie
The yellow face, it burns us!
~ Gollum, in The Lord Of The Rings by J. R. R. Tolkein
then the planet began erupting around us, which frankly came as something of a relief
~ Kryten, in Red Dwarf
There are girls online?! EWWW! GROSS!
~ NotFabio, on Everything2
There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.
~ R. Buckminster Fuller
THERE IS NO "E" IN "RIDICULOUS"!
There is too a spoon!
there's a BEAR in my oatmeal!
~ Family Guy
There's a distortion in space-time. Jump into it?
~ Everything2
These are my lucky revision notes!
They call 'em fingers, but I never seen 'em fing
~ Otto, in The Simpsons
They might just let us off with being lightly killed
~ Zaphod Beeblebrox, in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
They're mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmingin'!
Think of a song. Now turn on the radio. Is it playing? NO.
This calls for subtlety! EXTREME SUBTLETY!
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
This concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us!
~ Lrr, in Futurama
This is an appeal to ask for 10p a day. For one day. Today
~ Chris Cawthorn, appealing for change to play table football
This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened!
~ Leela, in Futurama
This is my Union of Soviet Socialist Whatever
This man needs 25ccs of FUNK
~ Bigger Than Cheeses
This may not be a hushy-shushy library, but bringing in the ska band is a bit much
~ Everything2
This movie is rated SEX, for SEX.
This sentence has cabbage six words
~ Douglas R. Hofstadter
This statement cannot be proven!
~ unknown
This tomb will be your GRAVE!
~ Dr. Raven Darktalon Blood, in Penny Arcade
Those who know the least, know it the loudest
~ unknown
three monkeys, ten minutes
~ Dogbert, in Dilbert
Three words: poor numeracy
To shreds, you say?
~ Professor Hubert Farnsworth, in Futurama
To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable, only unexplained.
~ The Doctor, in Doctor Who
To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion
~ Tina Mancuso, on The Jargon File
Tongues: they're in your face!
Tonight's scrambled movie title was: "Pi"
Topology! It's the top ology
~ Andrew Pearson
Traditionally, Scottish food is based on dares
~ Everything2
triangular honey from triangular bees
~ Toblerone advert
Try our new online cheese, e-dam
~ StickManStickMan
Unfortunately, the closet contains an Orc.
~ Everything2
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
~ "Limitations", poster on Despair.com
us = { all, your, base }
~ Tod Miller, on Slashdot
Video games make kids violent! Tiger Woods PGA Tour '01 makes them pro golfers!
~ Dork Tower
videogames are good for you!
Viva la BEM
We all miss The News, honey, but Huey Lewis needs time to create and we need to be patient
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
We are the Superconductors. Resistance is futile.
~ Colonel Sponsz, on Slashdot
We can awesome!
~ Dinosaur Comics
We can talk and talk about who should be president, but I say we should just settle it with some kind of vote.
~ The Onion
We can wipe you out anytime. ANYTIME.
~ "Sit Down. Stand Up.", song by Radiohead
We can't spell failure without U R A
~ Despair.com
We dare you to mean a single word you say
~ "Let's Kill Music", song by the Cooper Temple Clause
We fight... with JAZZ
~ Home Movies
we got the kind of games you can't rent at Blockbuster
~ Everything2
We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?
~ unknown
We Haven't Met But You're A Great Fan Of Mine
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
We like tha moon!
~ song by The Spongmonkeys
Welcome to videogaming: sooner or later, randomness is your only enemy
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it
~ unknown
Well, let me ask you a question. You're crazy!
~ Superintendent Chalmers, in The Simpsons
Well, my thinking is this: If it's empty, fill it with cream.
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
We're doomed I tell ya! Doomed! From the Middle-English meaning condemned to ruination or death!
~ Earthworm Jim, in Earthworm Jim
What do they pack bubble wrap in?
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! ALL IT DOES IS SHOOT YOU! IT DOESN'T MAKE BREAKFAST AT ALL!
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
What's that you say, Godzilla? Old Man Parker has fallen down a well?
~ a soldier, in Digitiser
Where do you want to go today, dirtbag?
~ Red vs Blue
Where is that large automobile?
~ "Once In A Lifetime", song by Talking Heads
while(1) { printf("badger "); }
Who do you suppose left all that radioactive waste down there? And why? WHY?
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Who needs spiritual enlightenment when you've got a BFG?
~ unknown
Why can't you just be a good boy and die?
~ Alec Trevelyan, in GoldenEye
Why does Ross, the largest Friend, not simply eat the other five?
~ Lrr, in Futurama
Why is the universe here? Well, what's the alternative?
Why mess around with voodoo when you can just stick needles in people you hate?
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
Why settle for the lesser evil? VOTE GIANT SQUID
Wiggles
~ Bender, in Futurama
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
~ Morbo, in Futurama
Winners don't lose frogs
~ Pokey The Penguin
work work work work work work work home :)
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Work... work... is that from Epic?
~ Penny Arcade
Worst Wrestler Names #34: Oscar The Wild
~ unknown
worxux
Wow, this room just screams "UNDERSTATED!"
Wow, you're from Earth? Do you know Harry Johnson?
~ Kryten, in Red Dwarf
Wrestle poodles and win!
~ "Mr. Apollo", song by the Bonzo Dog Band
Wrong Spray Merely Freshens Attacker
~ The Onion
WWII was won by Switzerland. They had the least losses.
~ unknown
x + 1 := x u { x }
~ from set theory
YES
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
YES! I'd LOVE some help writing my letter!
~ StickManStickMan
Yes, for your information I DO do the "math"
you are reading my screen name
You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!
~ Futurama
You are using 0% of your storage. Get Extra Storage
~ seen on Hotmail.com
You can't uninstall evil.
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
You don't change horsemen in mid-Apocalypse
~ seen on a T-shirt
You got a great body, but your record collection sucks
~ Everything2
You have to be crazy to work here
You have... a quintillion... new messages.
You know what they say about men with big feet. DIFFICULTY FINDING SOCKS.
~ Andrew Pearson
You look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?
~ Kang, in The Simpsons
You may not be the smartest person here
~ Culture ship name from Look To Windward by Iain M. Banks
You seem malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?
~ Zoidberg, in Futurama
Your favourite band sucks
~ Everything2
Your resume is a blank piece of paper. I like a man who can be brief.
~ the Boss in Dilbert
Zen pancakes! Get them while they're not!
~ Everything2
Ziing! (The extra I stands for extra Zing!)
~ Pokey The Penguin
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