$20 ladies, and the shirt stays ON!
~ Loserz
</mr nice guy>
~ StickManStickMan
<O>
~ Milo Rambaldi, in Alias
"All Your Base Are Belong To Us" Found Woven Into The Very Fabric Of The Universe
~ StickManStickMan
"I can find no fault with this game. 96%"
~ unknown gaming magazine
"Nearly impossible" = "possible"
~ Sam Hughes
"Oh bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."
~ Everything2
"You UNDID your parachute?!" "Had to. It was on fire."
~ Brothers In Arms comic
( o ) bagel
~ bagel2ooo, on Slashdot
(Away)
~ Sam Hughes
@_"
~ unknown
{{},{{}},{{},{{}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}},{{},{{}},{{},{{}}}}}}
~ this is the number 5 in set notation
1,000,000 lemmings can't be wrong
~ unknown
1996 called; they want their browser back
~ unknown
A bad analogy is like a leaky screwdriver
~ Richard Braakman
A general rule of cooking is that you can hide items of any kind in food
~ Pokey The Penguin
A man's gotta do that which a tautology demands of him
~ unknown
A sentence ending in a preposition is something up with which I will not put
~ attributed to Winston Churchill
Above all else, be loving and be cool
~ Everything2
Ahhh! Chainsaw! The great communicator!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin
~ P. G. Wodehouse
All civilization was an effort to impress the opposite sex
~ Futurama
All error is human
~ Sam Hughes
All I want in a woman is perfection on every level. I have NO idea why this should be such an unreasonable demand.
~ Scriblerus, on Everything2
all talk and no conversation
~ Sam Hughes
All the world's a game, and all the men and women are but players.
~ StickManStickMan
All Through With This Niceness And Negotiation Stuff
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
All your base are belong to us
~ Cats, in Zero Wing
Also CUTE and FLUFFY!
~ Stitch, in Lilo & Stitch
Always sit at least 100 yards from sun.
~ Sun Safety Tips, in the Onion
Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
~ Everything2
And breasts that seemed to say... "Hey! Look at these!"
~ Frank Drebin, in The Naked Gun 2 1/2
and you just have to sit there and imagine WHY on EARTH you can't Get Ye Flask
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
~ unknown
Anybody else think it's ironic that "minimalism" is such a long word?
~ StickManStickMan
Area Juggler Juggles Family, Juggling
~ The Onion
Aren't there bears "outside"?
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Aries: Your one-inch punch may be powerful, but it will prove to be no match for your adversary's 750-foot punch.
~ Horoscope in the Onion
Attention-seeking missile
~ Sam Hughes
attractive, single, mentally stable; choose two
~ unknown
Autopsy-turvy (Hit me baby one morgue time)
~ TimeSplitters 2
Babs, there's something I haven't told you. I go bellringing on Wednesday nights.
~ Acorn Antiques by Victoria Wood
bad poetry / oh noetry!
~ toothpaste for dinner
Bass cadet
~ song by Autechre
Battle Royale with cheese
~ Everything2
Battle-Finch
~ Progress Quest
Be excellent to each other!
~ Abraham Lincoln, in Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure
Be the mail!
~ mailman in Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Before this moment, did I ever see the world?
~ Penny Arcade
Being happy with what we have is the new chasing after trends
~ 1, in Death To The Extremist
Blood on the cheese
~ Bill Bailey
Botanists Making Great Strides In Stem Research
~ The Onion
Brackets contain world's first nanosig, highly magnified: [.]
~ Slashdot
breath as fresh as a summer ham
~ Henry Kissinger, on Futurama
Bruce Willis is "Minesweeper"
~ Utopia Project
Bush is stupid. Americans identified with Bush.
~ Andrew Hookway
Bush/Orwell in 2004
~ Slashdot
C is for cookie, and that suffices
~ Sam Hughes
Can you imagine a world without hypothetical questions?
~ Everything2
Careful with that axe, Eugene
~ song by Pink Floyd
Cast, Crew Of Troy Begin Disastrous 10-Year Journey Back To Hollywood
~ The Onion
Celebrate Bastille Day! Eat some Fruit Bastilles
~ Sam Hughes
Chew electric death, snarling cur!
~ Spaceman Spiff, in Calvin and Hobbes
Chew uraneous death, evildoers!
~ Sam Hughes
Chewbacca can't pronounce his own name
~ humbabba, on Everything2
chocolate war is hell... tasty, tasty hell
~ Sam Hughes
Clue: if you don't have something to say, shut up.
~ HTML Hell, by Eric S. Raymond
Come in, Boris, we always have a guest for breakfast. Muwahahahaha
~ "Monster Mash", song by the Bonzo Dog Band
Contrary to popular belief, not all mathematicians are handsome hunks
~ Sam Hughes
Crazy flipper fingers
~ "Pinball Wizard", song by the Who
Critics slate Bible for "deus ex machina" beginning
~ Untitled Document
Current mood: geocidal
~ Sam Hughes
Death to the extremist!
~ Death To The Extremist
Delete all files? Hit any key to continue.
~ Slashdot
Diamonds... because money equals love
~ sign in The Simpsons
Do not eat your controller. I can't stress this one enough.
~ Game Rage, by Derek Clark
Do Not Fire From Target Continuum
~ unknown
Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Good Eye
~ Everything2
Do not put marbles up your nose
~ Brendon Small, in Home Movies
Dodge this
~ Trinity, in The Matrix
Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
~ "Vera Lynn", song by Pink Floyd
Dog for sale, eats anything, especially fond of children
~ unknown
doing for mathematicians what Daredevil did for blind people
~ Sam Hughes
Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
~ Everything2
Don't blow up the universe! That's where I keep all my stuff!
~ The Tick, in The Tick
Don't get mad. Get even.
~ Simon Everson
Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.
~ Sam Hughes
Don't move. Don't even breathe threateningly.
~ Strata by Terry Pratchett
Don't shoot food
~ Gauntlet
Don't thank me, President X%#tlqr! Thank COVALENT BONDING
~ Thanatos, in Bigger Than Cheeses
Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal
~ Zaphod Beeblebrox, in The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe
doo wakka doo wakka doo
~ "Ballad Of The Sneak", on Homestarrunner
drinking bootleg hooch and listening to the jazz
~ "Ballad Of The Sneak", on Homestarrunner
Drunken British Students Conquer Iceland
~ Michael "Evil Capitalist" Dnes, on The Frontier
Eat hot prog knife, Angel!
~ Shinji Ikari, on Toastyfrog
Election 2004: Whoever wins... we lose
~ Sam Hughes
Elliot Goa'uld?
~ Otsune, on Everything2
Elvish Impersonator
~ Everything2
Epur Si muove
~ Galileo ("And it moves")
ETAONRISHDLFCMUGYPWBVKXJQZ
~ letters of the alphabet, in order of usage frequency in English
Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
~ "Sharp Dressed Man", song by ZZ Top
Everyone is entitled to my opinion
~ unknown
Everyone I've told about the file is dead!
~ Brian Griffin, in Family Guy
Exams aside, this should be a pretty easy term
~ Sam Hughes, in his final term at university
exercising my right to arm bears
~ Sam Hughes
Exploring: Meatloaf
~ seen in a Windows Explorer window
faster than a speeding ballet
~ Sam Hughes
faster than a speeding mullet
~ Sam Hughes
Feet are for running. Hearts are for racing
~ Everything2
Find out exactly what to think - next!
~ Sam Hughes
Finish your beer, there's sober kids in Africa!
~ unknown
Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish
~ Turtle, on Edge Forums
Fo Fee Fi Fo Fum! Is my name!
~ Jack, in Samurai Jack
Follow the white rarebit
~ Sam Hughes
For his birthday, I am going to get Koki... drunk
~ Sam Hughes
For sale: stupid dwarf
~ Sam Hughes
Four fried chickens and a coke.
~ Jake Blues, in The Blues Brothers
four out of five doctors agree: SHUT UP
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Francis, my throat is sore. Please laugh maniacally in my stead.
~ Brent, in PvP
Franko! Go down to the cargo hold and bring me everything that has the ability to explode!
~ Joe The Circle, in Joe The Circle
Free Tibet! (one per customer)
~ unknown
French Loaf II: The Breadening
~ Sam Hughes
from the company that brought you "Rabbit Algebra"
~ Homestarrunner
Gandalf! I thought you were dead! "No."
~ unknown
Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs
~ "Prehistoric Discoveries", infographic in the Onion
Geese can be troublesome
~ fortune cookie, on the Simpsons
Generally bears taste great. Any bear will tell you this.
~ Everything2
George Clooney grows goatee; world grinds to halt
~ Everything2
Get laid and jump out of an airplane... AT THE SAME TIME
~ the ambition of "Wackypants" on PD Central
Get me an F-16 and a big, pointy stick!
~ StickManStickMan
Getting shot in the face is the new black
~ The Onion
Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds
~ Homer Simpson
gone with the wind in 60 seconds
~ Sam Hughes
Goodyear Unveils New, Circular Tires
~ The Onion
Goosnargh
~ The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Got toast?
~ Terry Ip
Great! I Love BitTorrent. Because I hate going to the theater to see... uh, Linux binaries.
~ Murdock037, on Slashdot
grooving with a Pict
~ "Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict", song by Pink Floyd
Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill in to have her taken away!
~ Futurama
Gyaargh! The rumours of the Daystar are true!
~ Everything2
Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.
~ Wash, being a dinosaur in Firefly
Hand me the gun and ask me again
~ Culture ship name from Look To Windward by Iain M. Banks
Happy? Better Reduce the Dosage
~ Everything2
Hasta la vista, guv'nor.
~ Sam Hughes
He hated Mexicans! And he was half-Mexican! ...And he hated irony!
~ Saturday Night Live
He is a driven, unflinching, calculating, machine
~ Finnish hacker in Swordfish
He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel
~ Saturday Night Live
Heck, I'd believe a Runway 0:27 claim before I believed there were two "secret" levels
~ Wes McKinney in Fake Elite Chat by Derek Clark
HELLO! I'M BRIAN BLESSED!
~ Brian Blessed, in Monkey Dust
Hello, everyone. I'm Bronkowski, the fifth Teletubbie.
~ Bronkowski, in Digitiser
Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet.
~ Groucho Marx
Hey, I've got an idea... and it doesn't involve high explosives!
~ Max, in Sam And Max
Hmm. He has been trained in the art of Zwee Fighting
~ Snowflake, in Buttlord GT
Homer Simpson: Neomorphisms
~ unknown
Houston, we have a problem... a SEXY problem!
~ Homer Simpson
How can we possibly USE sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!
~ Frasier Crane, in Frasier
How can you shoot the Devil in the back? What if you miss?
~ Verbal Kint, in The Usual Suspects
How come Batman doesn't dance anymore?
~ Adam West, in The Simpsons
How come the Matrix soundtrack doesn't have any songs by The Smiths?
~ Sam Hughes
How much do ya gotta BOMB people to get 'em to quit HATING you?
~ Bob The Angry Flower, in Bob The Angry Flower
I am INVINCIBLE!
~ Boris Grishenko, in GoldenEye
I am not a step
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
I am the garage flower
~ "Mission Impossible", song by the Stone Roses
I can't believe it's knot theory!
~ Sam Hughes
I can't fix your car. I'm an ocelot.
~ Monkey Dust
I decided to start ranking my lecturers according to how good a Doctor Who they'd make
~ Sam Hughes
I demand a million helicopters and a DOLLAR!
~ Slashdot
I did it all for the cookie
~ Sam Hughes
I do all my best work while conscious
~ Antihero For Hire
I don't get it.
~ ObviousGuy, on Slashdot (this was comment #10,000,000)
I don't remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
~ "Wasted Youth", song by Meatloaf
I don't think we're in Kansas anym- oh wait, yeah we are
~ Sam Hughes
I fitted a snail with a death ray earlier. I'm going to train it to hunt glaciers.
~ Charlie Bell
I had no shoes and I thought I was unlucky until someone beat me to death with a spade
~ from CaesiaBot's quote list
I have a tiny penis and $10 million. It's a fair trade
~ Panel Crack
I have no mouth, but I don't need to scream, so that's okay
~ Sam Hughes
I just shot a dolphin. I did it on porpoise
~ unknown
I know! I'll use the "May I help you?" riff
~ Wayne Campbell, in Wayne's World
I lay awake last night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me.
~ apdt, on Slashdot
I like a girl in a bikini. No concealed weapons
~ Francisco Scaramanga, in The Man With The Golden Gun
I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
~ Everything2
I like my coffee the way I like my women: Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey
~ achan, on Everything2
I liked it [in Kill Bill] when Uma Thurman cut that guy
~ Wackypants, on PD Central
I love babysitting. So much better than chairs
~ unknown
I love chess, it is like ballet with more explosions
~ Pokey The Penguin
I love everyone, especially myself
~ heard at an IMO training session
I meditate diligently every morning. The subject is love and peace. I quit after three seconds.
~ Vash the Stampede, in Trigun
I never thought this would come up, but I have a fairly strict "no skeleton" policy
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
I play violent videogames! I could snap any minute!
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
I think I speak for everybody when I say I can't wait for Episode IV
~ Sam Hughes
I wish I had a cat. And some BBQ sauce.
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
I would walk 500 miles, but no further
~ Sam Hughes
Ice to see you
~ Mr. Freeze, in Batman And Robin
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
~ Jack Handey, in Saturday Night Live
If anyone objects to this union - stamp the ground twice.
~ ToasterLeavings
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
~ W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, use a GameShark
~ Sam Hughes
If Britney Spears loves rock 'n' roll, why doesn't she record some?
~ Sam Hughes
If everybody really is out to get you, what you have is JUSTIFIED paranoia.
~ Sam Hughes
If I wanted realism, I'd go play outside.
~ JeremyDark, on PDC
If I weren't me, I'd wish I was.
~ Maddox, on The Best Page In The Universe
If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man
~ "Working For A Living", song by Huey Lewis And The News
If something happens, it must be possible.
~ Scott Cox's First Law Of Physics
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.
~ Steven Wright
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
~ "Loneliness", poster on Despair.com
If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it and yell "Tornado!"
~ "Tornado Safety", infographic in the Onion
If you spot a tornado, always remember to stay absolutely still. Its vision is based on movement.
~ Chris Cawthorn
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
~ Everything2
I'm afraid... that's... ANTI-POSSIBLE!
~ Rob McQueen
I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Mr. Baggins
~ Everything2
I'm gonna reach down... between my legs... and ease the seat back
~ "I'm The Bomb", song by Electric Six
I'm losing interest in Boston Legal; they need to do a Mirror Universe episode
~ Sam Hughes
I'm only acting retarded, what's your excuse?
~ Gord, on Acts Of Gord
I'm sick of being experimented on! You want a guinea pig? Get a rabbit!
~ Coach McGurk, in Home Movies
I'm waiting for Aladdin -.5: Robin Williams Just Talks to Himself in a Bottle
~ Jon "Ngamer" Barber
In a world populated with many fine women, you are without a doubt the most fine.
~ Smoove B., in the Onion
In general, most people are... Chinese
~ Slashdot
In Hell, banjos don't need people to play them.
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
In Los Angeles, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find YOU
~ unknown
In mathematics, everything is a special case of something else
~ Sam Hughes
In Mathematics, it is customary to name things after the first person after Euler to discover them
~ unknown
In my experience, any number of people can be wrong about anything
~ Sam Hughes
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way
~ unknown
In space, no one can hear you implode a multi-billion dollar killer satellite array.
~ Tetsuo, on Toastyfrog
In space, no one can hear you wear a hat.
~ Everything2
In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
~ Zap Brannigan, in Futurama
In the new version, Alderaan shoots first
~ Dirtside, on Slashdot
In this house, WE OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS
~ Homer Simpson
INCONCEIVABLE!
~ Vizzini, in The Princess Bride
Information is not knowledge; knowledge is not wisdom; and wisdom is not foresight.
~ unknown
Information wants to be anthropomorphized
~ Golias, on Slashdot
Integral of "a^m" w.r.t. "hughes"
~ Sam Hughes
Internet tip: additional question marks act as an urgency clarifier, and get your question answered faster!
~ Sam Hughes
Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!
~ Futurama
Is it my fault your planet orbits a BALL of FIRE?
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Is it so hard to teach a child not to shoot people?
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
ITALIANS
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
It's a llama, Dad! A South American beast of burden!
~ advert for The Sims
It's all fun and games until somebody blows up the Sun
~ Sam Hughes
It's all so complicated, with the flowers, and romance, and the lies upon lies!
~ Zoidberg, in Futurama
It's always cool to hate things which are massively popular
~ Sam Hughes
It's hard to take a villain seriously when he has "Moff" in his title
~ J. Loren Soderburgh, on The Brunching Shuttlecocks
It's ISSSSSSSSSSSTHMUUUUUUUSSS!
~ Sam Hughes
It's just like making love; left, down, rotate sixty-two degrees, engage rotor...
~ Bender, in Futurama
I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!
~ Flashheart, in Blackadder II
Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grandmere est flambe
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Dress To Kill
July is sometimes very hot / but when it isn't, it is not
~ A Year At Saint Yorick's by Adrian Plass
Just add the credible submissions one by one. How hard could it be?
~ Wes McKinney in Fake Elite Chat by Derek Clark
Just because I can recite all fifty states in a quarter of a second
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
Just remember, you can't spell "suburbs" without "BUS RUBS"
~ toothpaste for dinner
Kevin Bacon linked to Al-Quaeda
~ The Onion
Knee-deep in the Xoxx
~ song by Machinae Supremacy
Ladies, form a line to my left for makeouts! Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives!
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Lady, I don't think I could take sixty-seven more of those!
~ Frank Drebin, in Police Squad!
Lapsed Pacifist
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
Law Enforcement Officials Call For Creation Of Bulletproof Sleeves
~ The Onion
Leave a good looking corpse. And leave it somewhere public.
~ dem bones, on Everything2
Let me check my notes...
~ Riff, in Sluggy Freelance
Let There Be More Light
~ song by Pink Floyd
Let there be ROCK
~ album by AC/DC
Liberty X? That's not a band, that's a porn channel.
~ Sam Hughes
Life is a lemon and I want my money back
~ song by Meatloaf
listening to Iron Median, the new sound of statistics
~ Sam Hughes
Live fast enough, and in an external observer's reference frame you need never die
~ Sam Hughes
Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.
~ James Dean, in Rebel Without A Cause
LIVE HOT NUKES
~ StickManStickMan
LIVR (Learned, Impartial and Very Relaxed)
~ Zipo Bibrok 5x10^8's title from Life, The Universe, And Everything by Douglas Adams
Lock and load, Holmes!
~ Gareth Hughes
Love is a snowmobile racing over the tundra that suddenly flips and pins you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
~ Life In Hell, by Matt Groening
Lunchtime Achievement Award
~ Horoscope in the Onion
Mah spoon is too big
~ Rejected
maS
~ Sam Hughes
Mathematicians do it smoothly and continuously
~ unknown
May 3, 325 B.C. - Rome Built
~ America (The Book) by the writers of The Daily Show
Merry Isthmus
~ Sam Hughes
Metroids are jerks.
~ Meganium7, on GameFAQs
Microwave-Resistant Potato Alarms Scientists
~ The Onion
Mmmmorrre coookiesss.......
~ sleeve note from "Hail To The Thief", album by Radiohead
Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff
~ Deep Thought, in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, William Shatner
~ Everything2
Murder Ahoy!
~ Saltmine Theatre Company
Music, movies and microcode
~ Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
My cause is just... my will is strong... and my gun is very, very large!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
~ unknown
My two favourite things are commitment, and changing myself
~ robot dummy, in Futurama
My vast intellect does provide SOME comfort
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
Nameless Generic Fireball Attack!
~ Glutes, in Buttlord GT
Never generalize
~ unknown
Never judge a book by its ISBN number
~ Andrew Pearson
never reason with a fool
~ "Fake Sound Of Progress", song by Lostprophets
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
~ GameFAQs
Next time you cross the road, don't bother looking.
~ Chris Morris, in The Day Today
Nine pies is a lot of pies.
~ Pie Queen, on Everything2
ninety-nine out of a possible ten
~ Sam Hughes
No car chases in books, are there?
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Unrepeatable
No matter how hard I try, I can never fit 12 cats into one mailbox.
~ Brian Berry
No Woman, No Chrysler Building
~ Six Things
No, that IS a banana in my pocket. Thanks for asking
~ StickManStickMan
No, we're outa bear claws!
~ "Albuquerque", song by "Weird" Al Yankovic
Nobody's human
~ Watchmen
Not everybody can avoid the traffic jams
~ Sam Hughes
Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Now playing The Clash - "Lock the Taskbar"
~ Sam Hughes
Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt!
~ unknown
Obscure Super-Heroes #145 - The Human Cheque
~ Sam Hughes
Oh no! Mass!
~ Father Ted
Okay, smartass, if this is football, where's all the ice?
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
Okay, you don't go home empty-handed, 'cause we're gonna cut your hands off!
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Definite Article
On a pile of money, with many beautiful ladies
~ Rainier Wolfcastle, in The Simpsons
Once upon a time there was a little girl with an adorable red cape and GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS
~ Aku, in Samurai Jack
One day this chalk outline will encircle this city
~ "Televators", song by the Mars Volta
Onion ring to rule them all, Onion ring to fry them
~ Everything2
Open the iPod and play The Doors, HAL
~ Anonymous Coward, on Slashdot
pacifisticuffs
~ Scriblerus, on Everything2
PAIN CAKE
~ Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, in a Reebok ad
Peace at any cost - The Kill Everyone Project
~ Sam Hughes
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election
~ Otto von Bismarck
People say alcohol's a drug. It's not a drug. It's a drink
~ Brass Eye
People with annoyingly long screen names
~ Sam Hughes
Perl: the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
~ unknown
perplexing geometric attacks
~ Strongbad, on Homestarrunner
Piper at the gates of dawn
~ song by Pink Floyd
poetry is pompous / any fool can do it / pineapple apocalypse
~ allseeingeye, on Everything2
Police Search Of Backpack Yields Explosive Bestseller
~ The Onion
Police Seize 250 Pounds of Mariuana Smoker
~ The Onion
Pope-Killing Virus Claims Yet Another Victim
~ The Onion
Price check on KICKED ASS!
~ Snowflake, in Buttlord GT
Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters...
~ Vizzini, in The Princess Bride
Probe yum yum... tastes like chicken. Send more probe
~ Everything2
Putting the "elation" into "tessellation"
~ Sam Hughes
Putting the "putting the" into "Putting the 'putting the' into 'putting the...'"
~ Sam Hughes
Putting the element of fun into Elements of Functional Analysis
~ Andrew Pearson
Quack
~ Sam Hughes
Quoth the server, "404"
~ link, on bash.org
Raging Against His Machine
~ Sam Hughes
Rated "S" for "Something"
~ Sam Hughes
Read between the lies
~ Sam Hughes
Real skill comes without effort
~ Li Mu Bai, in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Remember, don't play around electric wires or you could be playing with fire.
~ Roadblock, in a GI Joe Public Service Announcement
Remember: The old adage "Fight fire with fire" does not apply to non-metaphorical fires.
~ The Onion
Resistance is advisable. You might not be assimilated
~ StickManStickMan
Resistance is character-forming
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
Rest well, and dream of large women.
~ The Man in Black, in The Princess Bride
restaurant has stupid "no tigers" rule
~ The Onion
Right on, Commander!!
~ Frontier: Elite II
Rock-Eating Love Monkey
~ Food-Eating Battle Monkeys on The Surrealist
Rotating Knife Vortex Closed Pending Safety Investigation
~ The Onion
ROU Slashdot Effect
~ Culture Ship Name, suggested on Slashdot
Routine Training Exercise Goes As Planned
~ Sam Hughes
Samta Claus
~ Sam Hughes
Scientist Solves Chess, Claims Player Two Can Force Win
~ Sam Hughes
Search your feelings, with GOOGLE!
~ Refried
Secret Service Not Sure If That Suit Of Armor Was In Oval Office Yesterday
~ The Onion
See that star? First one to get there wins.
~ Taiwanimation
See the people standing there who disagree and never win
~ "Fixing A Hole", song by the Beatles
SEQUINED SPACEMAN
~ SEQUINED SPACEMAN, on Everything2
Set phasers on "Medium Rare"
~ Sam Hughes
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
~ song by Pink Floyd
Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!
~ edremy, on Slashdot
Sexy Boy must return to Earth!
~ video to "Sexy Boy", song by Air
Sir! It's a Beige Alert!
~ neutral person, in Futurama
Sith happens
~ Phil Plait
Sixteen days? That's almost two weeks!
~ Red vs Blue
SLASHDOTTERS do it with MODERATION
~ TexVex, on Slashdot
slime does not pay
~ The Tick, in The Tick
small things amuse large minds
~ gluth, on Everything2
SNOW'D
~ Sam Hughes
So this Irishman walks past a pub
~ unknown
Solar power? No thanks, COMRADE. I'm AMERICAN.
~ Bigger Than Cheeses
Some infinities are bigger than others
~ Sam Hughes
Some things are just morally reprehensible, like using science to save people's lives.
~ The Onion
Someone's been messing with my anti-paranoia medication!
~ Everything2
Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb!
~ Batman, in Batman
space hamster
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Specialization is for insects.
~ Lazarus Long
Sports. The opposite of reading.
~ unknown
Star Wars 3, Fans 0
~ Fark
Star Wars Episode 3. PROFIT!!!
~ Anonymous Coward, on Slashdot
Star Wars III: So long and thanks for all the Sith
~ Fark
starring Al Pacino as "L-block"
~ Mr. Biffo, in Digitiser
Stop Plate Tectonics!
~ Everything2
Such a rush
~ song by Coldplay
sugar-free poison strikes me as one of the most pointless things ever
~ Sam Hughes
Surely if there was only one, he would no longer be a Bee, just a Gee.
~ Sam Hughes
surfing with the alien
~ song by Joe Satriani
Table football is so unrealistic
~ Sam Hughes
take the long road and close three of its lanes
~ Sam Hughes
Take the long road and lengthen it
~ Sam Hughes
taste the war
~ Sam Hughes
Tell the people you are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists as unpatriotic
~ Herman Goering
thank you for not moshing
~ song by Reel Big Fish
That was the best forty-minute washboard solo I ever heard!
~ Beck, in Futurama
THAT... was a GOAL
~ Alan Partridge, in The Day Today
That's game, Hendrix!
~ Ben Franklin, in The Simpsons
THAT'S NOT A SQUARE! AAAAAAAGGGGH
~ Sam Hughes
The '90s are to the '80s what the '70s were to the '60s
~ Monkey Dust
The blue pill was red too! It was a trick of the light
~ StickManStickMan
The duck raises an excellent point.
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
The duck stood quietly, holding a ball-peen hammer
~ Everything2
The following takes place between 3 PM and 4:20 PM. Over there. In that booth.
~ The Self-Made Critic, reviewing "Phone Booth"
The future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet.
~ William Gibson
The goggles, they do nothing
~ Rainier Wolfcastle, in The Simpsons
The Great Flapsbury
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
~ "Humiliation", poster on Despair.com
The hundred-foot bamboo should continue growing
~ Chinese proverb
The information superhighway ISN'T REALLY A HIGHWAY AT ALL!!!
~ Sam Hughes
The Matrix has you, Charlie Brown!
~ poster in The Simpsons
The meaning of life is "things which are alive"
~ StickManStickMan
THE MEEK: THEY WANT IT ALL
~ Eddie Izzard, in his standup routine Circle
The President has been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
~ Bad Dudes
the principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself"
~ A Fish Called Wanda
The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding, in this case, is a football
~ Alan Partridge, in The Day Today
The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people
~ Robert Hamburger, on The Ultimate Ninja Website
The reason they say nobody lives forever is that nobody ever HAS. YET.
~ Sam Hughes
The solution to asylum seekers is better signs to the asylum
~ allseeingeye, on Everything2
The Supreme Court is just the Regular Court with bacon and lettuce
~ Everything2
The trick is... NOT to suck.
~ Sam Hughes
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
The word "laptop" comes from a Latin expression meaning "don't drop this"
~ 3 Dead Trolls In A Baggie
The yellow face, it burns us!
~ Gollum, in The Lord Of The Rings by J. R. R. Tolkein
then the planet began erupting around us, which frankly came as something of a relief
~ Kryten, in Red Dwarf
There are girls online?! EWWW! GROSS!
~ NotFabio, on Everything2
There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.
~ R. Buckminster Fuller
THERE IS NO "E" IN "RIDICULOUS"!
~ Sam Hughes
There is too a spoon!
~ Sam Hughes
there's a BEAR in my oatmeal!
~ Family Guy
There's a distortion in space-time. Jump into it?
~ Everything2
These are my lucky revision notes!
~ Sam Hughes
They call 'em fingers, but I never seen 'em fing
~ Otto, in The Simpsons
They might just let us off with being lightly killed
~ Zaphod Beeblebrox, in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
They're mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmingin'!
~ Sam Hughes
Think of a song. Now turn on the radio. Is it playing? NO.
~ Sam Hughes
This calls for subtlety! EXTREME SUBTLETY!
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
This concept of 'wuv' confuses and infuriates us!
~ Lrr, in Futurama
This is an appeal to ask for 10p a day. For one day. Today
~ Chris Cawthorn, appealing for change to play table football
This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened!
~ Leela, in Futurama
This is my Union of Soviet Socialist Whatever
~ Sam Hughes
This man needs 25ccs of FUNK
~ Bigger Than Cheeses
This may not be a hushy-shushy library, but bringing in the ska band is a bit much
~ Everything2
This movie is rated SEX, for SEX.
~ Sam Hughes
This sentence has cabbage six words
~ Douglas R. Hofstadter
This statement cannot be proven!
~ unknown
This tomb will be your GRAVE!
~ Dr. Raven Darktalon Blood, in Penny Arcade
Those who know the least, know it the loudest
~ unknown
three monkeys, ten minutes
~ Dogbert, in Dilbert
Three words: poor numeracy
~ Sam Hughes
To shreds, you say?
~ Professor Hubert Farnsworth, in Futurama
To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable, only unexplained.
~ The Doctor, in Doctor Who
To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion
~ Tina Mancuso, on The Jargon File
Tongues: they're in your face!
~ Sam Hughes
Tonight's scrambled movie title was: "Pi"
~ Sam Hughes
Topology! It's the top ology
~ Andrew Pearson
Traditionally, Scottish food is based on dares
~ Everything2
triangular honey from triangular bees
~ Toblerone advert
Try our new online cheese, e-dam
~ StickManStickMan
Unfortunately, the closet contains an Orc.
~ Everything2
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
~ "Limitations", poster on Despair.com
us = { all, your, base }
~ Tod Miller, on Slashdot
Video games make kids violent! Tiger Woods PGA Tour '01 makes them pro golfers!
~ Dork Tower
videogames are good for you!
~ Sam Hughes
Viva la BEM
~ Sam Hughes
We all miss The News, honey, but Huey Lewis needs time to create and we need to be patient
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
We are the Superconductors. Resistance is futile.
~ Colonel Sponsz, on Slashdot
We can awesome!
~ Dinosaur Comics
We can talk and talk about who should be president, but I say we should just settle it with some kind of vote.
~ The Onion
We can wipe you out anytime. ANYTIME.
~ "Sit Down. Stand Up.", song by Radiohead
We can't spell failure without U R A
~ Despair.com
We dare you to mean a single word you say
~ "Let's Kill Music", song by the Cooper Temple Clause
We fight... with JAZZ
~ Home Movies
we got the kind of games you can't rent at Blockbuster
~ Everything2
We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?
~ unknown
We Haven't Met But You're A Great Fan Of Mine
~ Culture ship name by Iain M. Banks
We like tha moon!
~ song by The Spongmonkeys
Welcome to videogaming: sooner or later, randomness is your only enemy
~ Sam Hughes
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it
~ unknown
Well, let me ask you a question. You're crazy!
~ Superintendent Chalmers, in The Simpsons
Well, my thinking is this: If it's empty, fill it with cream.
~ John Gabriel, in Penny Arcade
We're doomed I tell ya! Doomed! From the Middle-English meaning condemned to ruination or death!
~ Earthworm Jim, in Earthworm Jim
What do they pack bubble wrap in?
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! ALL IT DOES IS SHOOT YOU! IT DOESN'T MAKE BREAKFAST AT ALL!
~ Peter Griffin, in Family Guy
What's that you say, Godzilla? Old Man Parker has fallen down a well?
~ a soldier, in Digitiser
Where do you want to go today, dirtbag?
~ Red vs Blue
Where is that large automobile?
~ "Once In A Lifetime", song by Talking Heads
while(1) { printf("badger "); }
~ Sam Hughes
Who do you suppose left all that radioactive waste down there? And why? WHY?
~ space marine from the Doom comic
Who needs spiritual enlightenment when you've got a BFG?
~ unknown
Why can't you just be a good boy and die?
~ Alec Trevelyan, in GoldenEye
Why does Ross, the largest Friend, not simply eat the other five?
~ Lrr, in Futurama
Why is the universe here? Well, what's the alternative?
~ Sam Hughes
Why mess around with voodoo when you can just stick needles in people you hate?
~ Professor Ashfield, in ?
Why settle for the lesser evil? VOTE GIANT SQUID
~ Sam Hughes
Wiggles
~ Bender, in Futurama
WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
~ Morbo, in Futurama
Winners don't lose frogs
~ Pokey The Penguin
work work work work work work work home :)
~ Toothpaste For Dinner
Work... work... is that from Epic?
~ Penny Arcade
Worst Wrestler Names #34: Oscar The Wild
~ unknown
worxux
~ Sam Hughes
Wow, this room just screams "UNDERSTATED!"
~ Sam Hughes
Wow, you're from Earth? Do you know Harry Johnson?
~ Kryten, in Red Dwarf
Wrestle poodles and win!
~ "Mr. Apollo", song by the Bonzo Dog Band
Wrong Spray Merely Freshens Attacker
~ The Onion
WWII was won by Switzerland. They had the least losses.
~ unknown
x + 1 := x u { x }
~ from set theory
YES
~ Pokey, in Pokey The Penguin
YES! I'd LOVE some help writing my letter!
~ StickManStickMan
Yes, for your information I DO do the "math"
~ Sam Hughes
you are reading my screen name
~ Sam Hughes
You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!
~ Futurama
You are using 0% of your storage. Get Extra Storage
~ seen on Hotmail.com
You can't uninstall evil.
~ Tycho Brahe, in Penny Arcade
You don't change horsemen in mid-Apocalypse
~ seen on a T-shirt
You got a great body, but your record collection sucks
~ Everything2
You have to be crazy to work here
~ Sam Hughes
You have... a quintillion... new messages.
~ Sam Hughes
You know what they say about men with big feet. DIFFICULTY FINDING SOCKS.
~ Andrew Pearson
You look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?
~ Kang, in The Simpsons
You may not be the smartest person here
~ Culture ship name from Look To Windward by Iain M. Banks
You seem malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?
~ Zoidberg, in Futurama
Your favourite band sucks
~ Everything2
Your resume is a blank piece of paper. I like a man who can be brief.
~ the Boss in Dilbert
Zen pancakes! Get them while they're not!
~ Everything2
Ziing! (The extra I stands for extra Zing!)
~ Pokey The Penguin