Andy Williams said that they were making music to watch girls by, but somehow neglected to give any examples of such music. So I was forced to settle for humming his song which I can only imagine should have been entitled "Music To Think Of Music To Watch Girls By By" while watching the girls at work today.

I'm working in the Records department at the School of Education at the University of Nottingham - an ongoing post (an initially intimidating prospect) as generic admin guy. After two days on the job I am still very much grappling for clues in a sea of abbreviations and paperwork, although I can file things which at least makes me feel useful. The Jubilee Campus where I'm working is gorgeous - the library looks a little strange, but there're pleasing quantities of water and grass everywhere, also ducks and ducklings, for 'tis the season.

But there are also students everywhere. And I am a year out of university, and university was the best time of my life, and the time I've spent since then has been all but wasted. I want nothing more than to go back in time three - make that four - years and do it all again. And being surrounded by it, wearing a smart shirt and black trousers in our little office while they sunbathe and play frisbee outside our window, is tearing me up. I've never felt more like a failure. I shouldn't be here, processing university applications for the younger, smarter and more attractive. I should be running the world by now.

Also, the weather lately has been absolutely blissfully warm. And, according to an informal poll conducted by Radio One many moons ago, Nottingham is more full of highly attractive women than pretty much any other city in the United Kingdom. And, like I said... sunbathing. Right outside my office window. All of them two, three years younger than me. I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK, DANG IT

This could turn out to be the worst job ever.