The final minutes of Mark and Lard

BBC Radio 1, 2004-03-26 15:08

(Kiss - Crazy Crazy Nights fades out)

FX DOOR CREAK

(sound of Lard mumbling very quietly to himself)

FX DOOR CREAK

MARK: Oi.

LARD: What?

MARK: 'S great that, wasn't it, Kiss, Crazy Crazy Nights.

LARD: (vaguely) Great, yeah, that, yeah, 's great, yeah.

MARK: What you doing in here on your own, though, Lard? the party's starting.

LARD: Well, you know, s-spent a lot of time in here, mate, I'm just, having a last look round, you know.

MARK: Yeah? I know what you mean, but...

LARD: What?

MARK: Let's not torture ourselves. Let's go to the pub and you can buy me a pint.

LARD: Yeah. (cheering up) All right, mate, yeah. One last catchphrase?

MARK: ...A swift half a catchphrase.

LARD: Okay.

PAUSE

LARD: STOP!

FX DOOR SLAM

BBC Radio 1 jingle: "One... one... one... one... one... one... one... one... one... one... one..."

TWENTY SECONDS OF SILENCE

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