Worst Christmas Ever

I'm going to write as much as I can about the May Ball while I still remember it.

To be honest I'd had misgivings about this May Ball since the theme - "Sensation" - was announced. I really don't think you could come up with a less inspiring or ambiguously vague theme, except seriously dumb ones like, I dunno, "Food And Drink". (You could have one region for food, and one for drink.) Then a day or so ago some extraordinarily cheap signs appeared around college indicating where the various zones were - zones like "Excite" (Excitement, surely?) and "Childsplay" (which is an activity, not a sensation) - and the signs themselves were printed on white A4 paper and laminated: cheap, cheap, cheap.

Then, tragically, it rained. Not all the way through - only for the two hours or so we spent queueing and a few hours after that, then it cleared up. But you know, this year's May Week has been one the hottest weeks in Cambridge I've ever experienced and then on the day of our May Ball it rains. That's pretty mean of the rain gods to be honest.

While queueing we drank champaggun and a couple of people entertained us - one guy exploiting the principles of pressure by lying on a bed of nails with both Mark AND Matthew standing on his chest, not bad, and another who did a card trick which I completely missed. The thought occurred to me that perhaps somebody should do a television show where a street magician goes and tries to perform tricks on another person who also turns out to be a street magician, and is actually playing the first street magician. Like he pretends to be fooled and then pulls his actual card out of his pocket and goes "wait, THIS is my card!" or something. You wouldn't be able to tell who was playing whom. Anyway, moving on...

Once we got inside things weren't quite as bad as I'd hoped. There was copious food. I went for the barbecue tent, which turned out to be providing burgers easily as delicious as any you could buy from the Van, sigh. The chocolate fountain (!) in the Master's Garden was exhausted pretty quickly, to the dismay of many. The casino was moderately entertaining; lost all my fake chips on roulette. The most impressive thing in the marquee in New Court was a rather convincing Michael Jackson impersonator. There was a samba band and later on an African drum band, both of which to be honest sounded just like lengthy, repetitive drumming - no melody, difficult not to be annoyed by. Bouncy castle was enjoyable. Dan fought Julian with some sort of foam gladiatorial contest on podiums - not bad. Copious cocktails which were delicious, and ran out in four hours or so, along with all the spirits - very disappointing. Ate a banana. The bar area was called "Illusion" but was just full of optical illusions on posters, and lager. Should have done the Ceilidh (sp?) dancing but didn't on account of being tired at that point, though a short nap in the movie room later and I was suddenly wide awake, which was odd. After a while the ball went from being a novelty to a drag - my feet were killing me (my shoes are obviously not designed for human feet and my right foot isn't perfect anyway) and I was exhausted and unable to eat or drink any more.

Still, on the positive side, I think there were a LOT of good photographs taken which I can't wait to see/upload. And the ladies of our gang looked stunning.

Suggestion of the night: hold a May Ball during the day, from 9am to 6pm - enabling you to attend two or even three May Balls in rapid succession. Quote of the night was by Elliot: "This is the worst Christmas EVER!"

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