Obfuscation, An Improvised Play In Eight Parts

First Performed In Elite Chat On 22nd September 2005

By Sam, Mike, Neo, Jon, Wheat and Shade

PROLOGUE

(01:47:28) Im Ngamer: hm, just need wheat and Neo to vote on this quote
(01:47:37) Im Ngamer: and we'll set the new record for activity
(01:47:37) Neo26988: Which quote?
(01:47:45) Im Ngamer: http://youreliteness.thengamer.com/qdb/?quotelist&sort=recent
(01:48:30) wheatrich: I already voted on that quote
(01:48:33) wheatrich: before you even said it
(01:49:03) Im Ngamer: hm
(01:49:10) Im Ngamer: how did you manage that without... OH
(01:49:14) Im Ngamer: you're the invisible man
(01:49:16) Im Ngamer: I see
(01:49:23) Im Ngamer: or rather, don't see

ACT ONE

(01:49:35) TheFederalPolice entered the room.
(01:50:09) TheFederalPolice: Invisible man, is it? Sounds...CRIMINAL!
(01:49:56) Im Ngamer: uh oh, the cops are busting in!
(01:50:18) Obfuscation314: I didn't see anything! I swear!
(01:50:21) Stickmansam 1024: You burn all the drugs, I'll get the kids out the back way.
(01:50:55) Stickmansam 1024: and if you see that traitor Carlos, *ka-click* give him a bullet for me
(01:50:26) Regular Civilian: Indeed.
(01:50:43) TheFederalPolice: Regular, eh? Sounds...SUSPICIOUS!
(01:51:03) Regular Civilian: Federal? That sounds MORE suspicious!
(01:50:59) TheRealDEPolice entered the room.
(01:51:02) TheRealDEPolice: what's the meaning of all this?
(01:51:16) TheFederalPolice: DE Police? Bah
(01:51:18) Obfuscation314: AAAHHHHH!!!!
(01:51:24) Obfuscation314: *commits suicide*
(01:51:19) Stickmansam 1024: is there something wrong with people having secret identities?
(01:51:24) The Ad Killer entered the room.
(01:51:34) The Ad Killer: not as far as I'm aware, citizen!
(01:51:37) TheFederalPolice: Killer!? Sounds...LEGAL!
(01:51:48) TheRealDEPolice: Wait, you sure about that?
(01:52:10) Stickmansam 1024: Of course, officer. I'm a licensed special member of the police force.
(01:52:21) TheFederalPolice: Where's your ID?
(01:52:27) Stickmansam 1024: oh wait.
(01:52:34) Stickmansam 1024: it's in my other identity.
(01:52:41) The Ad Killer: here you go.
(01:52:53) Im Ngamer: oh, sneaky!
(01:52:59) TheFederalPolice: *gasps* This is a fake!

MEANWHILE

(01:52:08) Obfuscation314: *clones self*
(01:52:10) Obfuscation No2 entered the room.
(01:52:27) Obfuscation No2: ?

ACT TWO

(01:52:27) Neo26988: I'm fucking confused.
(01:53:03) Regular Civilian: What's going on here? NOBODY MOVE.
(01:53:16) TheFederalPolice: *raises gun to Regular guy*
(01:53:17) The Ad Killer: Except to breathe, you can move a bit to do that.
(01:53:24) TheFederalPolice: FREEZE!
(01:53:28) Regular Civilian: *raises gun to Federal Police*
(01:53:32) Regular Civilian: YOU freeze!
(01:53:37) TheFederalPolice: I SAID IT FIRST!
(01:53:43) Regular Civilian: I WAS HERE FIRST!
(01:53:44) TheRealDEPolice: *raises gun to both*
(01:53:47) TheRealDEPolice: Drop it!
(01:53:48) TheFederalPolice: I'LL BLOW YOUR F**ING BRAINS OUT!
(01:53:51) The Ad Killer: *points Bannercharge(tm) fist guns at both* FREEZE!
(01:54:00) Regular Civilian: *pulls out another gun, points it at DE Police*
(01:54:15) Stickmansam 1024: *yelling at the ice tray in his woefully non-cold freezer* FREEZE!
(01:54:24) Regular Civilian: GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND NOW!
(01:54:36) TheFederalPolice: Alright, I'm going to put my gun on the groud. All of you are to do the same.
(01:54:47) TheRealDEPolice: *slowly lowers weapons*
(01:54:58) Stickmansam 1024: *trigger finger twitches*
(01:55:03) Stickmansam 1024: *sweat drop*
(01:55:08) TheFederalPolice: *slowly moves gun to floor*
(01:55:19) Regular Civilian: *slowly puts down guns*
(01:55:46) Obfuscation No2: *places gun on floor*
(01:55:41) TheFederalPolice: *removes giant gun from pants* Hah, and YOU thought it was a banana! *shoots Regular Civilian and The DE Police*
(01:55:51) TheRealDEPolice: nooooo!
(01:55:51) TheFederalPolice: *shoots grapple into roof*
(01:55:53) TheFederalPolice: *flies away*
(01:55:55) TheFederalPolice left the room.
(01:55:56) TheRealDEPolice: *dies*
(01:56:00) TheRealDEPolice left the room.
(01:56:04) Regular Civilian: I'll get you for this...
(01:56:12) Regular Civilian left the room.
(01:55:58) Neo26988: Holy shit.
(01:56:01) The Ad Killer: whoah.

CONFUSED INTERLUDE

(01:56:10) Stickmansam 1024: Save us, Ad Killer!
(01:56:24) The Ad Killer: no.
(01:56:30) Obfuscation No2: What the hell just happened?
(01:56:33) Neo26988: Why didn't he kill Ad KilleR?
(01:56:37) Obfuscation314: I don't know.
(01:56:52) The Ad Killer: why did he leave me alive? perhaps someday we'll find out.
(01:56:54) The Ad Killer: but not today.
(01:56:57) Obfuscation No2: More importantly, why are you talking to yourself?
(01:57:04) The Ad Killer: I'm talking to you.

ACT FOUR

(01:57:05) TheFederalPolice entered the room.
(01:57:06) TheFederalPolice: *shoots Ad Killer*
(01:57:06) Obfuscation314: Um...
(01:57:08) TheFederalPolice left the room.
(01:57:12) Im Ngamer: ouch!
(01:57:18) The Ad Killer: hey!
(01:57:21) Neo26988: Fly by shooting!
(01:57:49) The Ad Killer: *dies*
(01:58:00) The Ad Killer: my only regret...
(01:58:03) The Ad Killer: ...is that...
(01:58:06) The Ad Killer: ...I got shot...
(01:58:09) The Ad Killer left the room.
(01:58:16) Stickmansam 1024: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(01:58:34) Neo26988: He had a good life.
(01:58:40) Stickmansam 1024: Why must the good die young?!
(01:58:49) Stickmansam 1024: Take me instead!
(01:59:32) The Ad Killer entered the room.
(01:59:40) The Ad Killer: *appears briefly in the clouds*
(01:59:41) The Ad Killer left the room.

ACT FIVE

(02:00:54) Ad Killer Killer entered the room.
(02:00:58) Ad Killer Killer: Where is he!!??
(02:01:03) Obfuscation314: Dead.
(02:01:15) Ad Killer Killer: What do you mean he's DEAD?
(02:01:20) Stickmansam 1024: Dead, you monster, dead! Why can't you leave us alone?
(02:01:30) Stickmansam 1024: *sob*
(02:01:38) Ad Killer Killer: Only I, the legendary Ad Killer Killer have the prowess to destroy the advertising destroyer.
(02:01:49) Stickmansam 1024: What? then that means-
(02:02:11) The Ad Killer entered the room.
(02:02:15) The Ad Killer: YES!
(02:02:19) The Ad Killer: I live!
(02:02:21) Ad Killer Killer: THERE you are!
(02:02:26) The Ad Killer: Ack!
(02:02:32) Ad Killer Killer: We need to talk, young man.
(02:02:40) Ad Killer Killer: (I know your secret!)
(02:02:52) The Ad Killer: I was young, I needed the money!
(02:03:12) Ad Killer Killer: I wasn't talking about your brief phase in the pornography industry.

EQUALLY MEANWHILE

(02:03:11) Obfuscation No3 entered the room.
(02:03:23) Obfuscation314: ...
(02:03:27) Obfuscation No2: ...
(02:03:31) Neo26988: O_o

ACT SIX

(02:03:42) Ad Killer Killer: No, Ad Killer...you see, I know your true identity!
(02:03:51) The Ad Killer: Impossible!
(02:04:11) The Ad Killer: *thinks... can he really know my dark and terrible secret?*
(02:04:25) Ad Killer Killer: I do, my naive friend.
(02:04:52) Ad Killer Killer: And I think it only fair that these everyday citizens know the truth!
(02:05:00) The Ad Killer: You can't!
(02:05:13) The Ad Killer: Surely you must understand there is more at stake here than you or I!
(02:06:16) Ad Killer Killer: If it weren't for you, there would be no ads to kill!
(02:06:37) The Ad Killer: No! No! It's a lie!
(02:07:11) Ad Killer Killer: Face it, young man.
(02:07:20) Ad Killer Killer: I AM YOUR SON!
(02:07:28) The Ad Killer: DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
(02:07:36) Im Ngamer: ha! what a twist
(02:07:41) Ad Killer Killer: YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME!
(02:07:45) Ad Killer Killer: NOW LOOK WHAT I HAVE BECOME!
(02:08:04) The Ad Killer: I failed you, my boy!
(02:08:21) J Eternia F: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT!
(02:08:31) Ad Killer Killer: I told the other children that it was your sworn duty to rid the world of annoying advertisements, but they just laughed!
(02:09:05) The Ad Killer: I was too busy fighting Big Spam to realise... little Killer was growing up!
(02:09:20) Ad Killer Killer: They didn't understand the horrors of advertisements! They were too young to innocently look up porn, only to be infested by malicious spyware!

MEANMEANWHILEWHILE

(02:08:59) Obfuscation314: Something doesn't seem right here...
(02:09:06) Obfuscation No2: Indeed.
(02:09:11) Obfuscation No3: I agree.
(02:09:44) Obfuscation No5 entered the room.
(02:09:50) Obfuscation314: What the-
(02:10:16) Im Ngamer: whoa! this is some serious obfuscationating
(02:09:52) J Eternia F: where's No 4?
(02:09:55) Stickmansam 1024: What happened to 4?
(02:09:58) Obfuscation314: What happened to No 4?
(02:10:05) The Ad Killer: What about 4?
(02:10:20) Iricu One entered the room.
(02:10:25) Iricu One: why'd you skip 4?
(02:10:26) Iricu One left the room.
(02:10:24) Obfuscation No5: I had to do something to keep this joke alive.

ACT SEVEN

(02:10:37) J Eternia F: this is VERY confusing
(02:10:43) Obfuscation314: Yes
(02:10:47) Obfuscation No2: it
(02:10:49) Obfuscation No3: is
(02:10:51) Obfuscation No5: .
(02:10:58) The Ad Killer: No, THIS is confusing: I'm not actually the Ad Killer! I am...
(02:11:05) The Ad Killer: Obfuscation 4
(02:11:14) Ad Killer Killer: NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
(02:11:19) Obfuscation314: WHAT?
(02:11:22) Stickmansam 1024: COULD THIS GET ANY MORE INTENSE?
(02:11:25) Stickmansam 1024: INTENSE!!!!!!!!
(02:11:33) Stickmansam 1024: GRR!
(02:11:50) The Ad Killer: And I'll tell you the true story... now.
(02:11:53) The Ad Killer: You see-
(02:11:54) The Ad Killer: *blam*
(02:11:55) The Ad Killer left the room.
(02:12:00) Obfuscation No3: ...
(02:12:10) Stickmansam 1024: :O
(02:12:29) Ad Killer Killer: I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD!
(02:12:38) Ad Killer Killer: But suicide is such a nasty option.
(02:12:42) Ad Killer Killer: Maybe...hmm....
(02:12:50) Ad Killer Killer: *commits various crimes*
(02:13:03) Obfuscation314: I'm so confused.
(02:13:17) Stickmansam 1024: it would help if your THREE FREAKING CLONES left, Mike.

ACT EIGHT

(02:13:06) TheFederalPolice entered the room.
(02:13:13) Obfuscation No2: Gah!
(02:13:27) TheFederalPolice: TAKE HIM DOWN!
(02:13:35) TheFederalPolice: *machine guns Ad Killer Killer*
(02:13:41) Ad Killer Killer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(02:13:44) Ad Killer Killer left the room.
(02:13:45) Regular Civilian entered the room.
(02:13:50) Regular Civilian: FREEZE!
(02:14:13) Regular Civilian: *shoots Obfuscations 2, 3, and 5*
(02:14:18) Obfuscation No2 left the room.
(02:14:19) Obfuscation No3 left the room.
(02:14:20) Obfuscation No5 left the room.
(02:14:19) J Eternia F: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
(02:14:26) TheFederalPolice: No, but I am, young man.
(02:14:33) J Eternia F: mommy?
(02:14:37) TheFederalPolice: In a way, aren't we everyone's mother?
(02:14:40) J Eternia F: no
(02:14:45) TheFederalPolice: After all, it's our job to care for regular civilians!
(02:14:49) TheFederalPolice: Except for that one, he's a spy.
(02:14:57) Regular Civilian: Who, me?
(02:15:06) TheFederalPolice: Yes, you!
(02:15:12) Regular Civilian: Oh, okay.
(02:15:31) TheFederalPolice: Now, I'm needed in Iraq.
(02:15:37) TheFederalPolice: Up, up and away!
(02:15:39) TheFederalPolice left the room.

DENOUEMENT

(02:15:45) Stickmansam 1024: can we move this along? the guys from X-files get here at twenty past
(02:15:52) Stickmansam 1024: and they need to use these sets
(02:15:35) Regular Civilian: ...Anybody know what happened to Obfuscation No4?
(02:15:50) Obfuscation314: He's... hiding!
(02:15:54) Obfuscation314: In Afghanistan!
(02:16:07) Regular Civilian: I'll find him...
(02:16:09) Regular Civilian left the room.
(02:16:26) Obfuscation314: ...
(02:16:32) Obfuscation314: I think it's over now.

EPILOGUE

(02:16:52) Stickmansam 1024: ~Q~

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